Shitty Reminders

Most days I can forget that suicide plays such a large role in my daily life. Most days I can think about my Dad fondly and block out the fact that he left me. By choice. Most days, the anger isn't here. Today is not one of those days.

I received a call this morning that a family friend lost her son. At first, we didn't know details (and still don't know many). This poor lady lost her first son a few years back, he was hit by a car. Today, she woke up to the news that she lost her second and only remaining son. They don't know what exactly happens, but it sounds like it may be suicide. He shot himself, but they don't know the circumstances surrounding it.

Why is our culture so effed up that people with serious depression issues feel like they can't talk to someone for fear of being viewed as week??? It is so sad that talking about suicide is so taboo, but when you do talk to someone, most people know someone who has been affected by it. I am a victim of suicide. Have I ever been tempted no, but it left me a victim dammit.

My Dad was a great person. He had a shitty life, but he had an amazing personality. He was an addict. He needed help. He wouldn't ask for it though and no one thought to try to force him into it. He was a big man with a strong personality... I never knew.

Today I am reminded again of the devastation that suicide causes in the lives of its victims. It doesn't seem fair that those that make the decision are no longer here to help pick up the pieces. Those of us that had NO control over the situation have to do that.

Please pray for Julie. She had two sons, now she has none. As a mother, this is the most heartbreaking thing I can ever imagine. I hope for she can pick up the pieces, but I don't even know where to tell her to begin.