OMG... Only in America.

So, I recently stumbled across this:

Yes, it is a book explaining plastic surgery to children. Basically, it "aims to tell kids that Mommy's bruises and bandages are temporary and Mommy won't be different, just prettier."

Only in America would this be a published children's book.

Check out some exerpts here.

If you'd like it in time for Mother's Day, just click here to get yours today!

ugh...

I NEED MEDICATION

You are SO UNBELIEVABLY WRONG

So, usually I try to avoid bringing my friends into my AI addiction (American Idol), but this cannot go without being said...

AMERICA GOT IT WRONG.

I am completely flabergasted that Carly just went home. She was by far the best female and should have been top two, no question. The fact that Jason Castro and Brooke White were safe tonight is beyond ridiculous... I mean seriously, Brooke forgot her lyrics last night and stopped the song and started it over... but wait, this was the SECOND time she's done this! She isn't versatile, she always sounds the same... she should be gone. Not Carly!

UGH... I hate you America. You got it wrong.

Carly, you will be missed.

Freaking People

1) Lunchtime Antics - REALLY?

Today, LT proceeded to read the grocery ads OUT LOUD... really? Apparently, the rest of us in the room were not able to entertain her enough, so she had to digress to this really REALLY annoying display of attempting to get our attention. What? If you can't interrupt us with something irrelevant to contribute to our conversation you will just interrupt us by reading about carrots? REALLY?

We were talking all high and mighty intelligent talk about religion and apparently that was above her head... or maybe the price of carrots was just more interesting... I'll let you decide.

2) I'm going to rant now... this isn't really for your reading pleasure but is something that I must get out or I might explode.

I really freaking hate it when people judge me. You don't know my situation and you don't know the details of the situation so how dare you look at me and sigh at me like what I am saying is stupid. You are not better than me. Yes you are older than me, but you do not necessarily know more than me. I know what is the best decision for me and my family, you do not. I am not an irresponsible person rushing into a rash decision. I realize the implications of whatever decision me and my husband make. I don't give a shit if you think you are so "in the know" and so on top of your life... personally, I don't give a shit. And don't ask me questions about my situation if all you are going to do is hmm and haw at me and look at me like I'm making a stupid decision. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. Shut your freaking mouth.

On that rant, I think I need to give this anonymous person a nickname... I will go with GP... standing for Goucho Pants.

*To all readers who work with myself, LT and GP... These rants and raves are meant to be private, so please keep them that way. Inside jokes are ok, but please don't make my ranting page public knowledge. Thank you for your cooperation.

- Thanks -

The Management

Lunchtime Antics - "What's Your Name Again???"

Among today's lunchtime enlightening moments were these:

• LT doesn't know her neighbors and they don't know her... at least not on a first name basis. They simply refer to each other as "INSERT PET NAME HERE's Mom". So, to all her neighbors, she is simply, "Bailey's Mom." Be proud LT, be very proud.
• Apparently her sister was married to a drug dealer... what this had to do with anything we were talking about, I don't know, so I can't really describe it's relevance as I don't think there is any... but it's still kinda funny.
• Ass kissing comes naturally to LT... to witness this oh-so-admirable quality, all you have to do is sit through one lunch with LT and her boss... OH DEAR LORD LT... you're lips are starting to turn brown. Give it up.
• And last but not least, I'm pretty sure LT carried on an entire conversation with herself as she was trying to interrupt one of our other conversations going on at the time. No one acknowledged her as she started talking (because we were already talking about another much more interesting topic). She didn't care or didn't realize that no one was paying attention and proceeded to have an ongoing laugh talk conversation with herself for a whole five minutes or so... impressive LT. Really, it is. You could be a one-woman show.

Other than that, nothing too exciting. Work is as fast-paced as ever...

My Idea of Heaven...

No, it's not really Heaven... perhaps, my new favorite Fast Food Restaurant? If you can even call it that... I mean, HELLO!

For those of you that know me really well, you know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE cereal... I can eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Those nights when Jimmys isn't really hungry and I don't need to cook, oh yes, I eat cereal... at all times, we have at least 2-3 varieties to feed my loving habit.

This is where I introduce my new favorite "fast food" chain:

Yes, it is a resturant called Cereality. Here is a little blurb to describe it:

At Cereality, customers choose from their favorite brands and toppings. Pajama-clad Cereologists™ fill the orders. And customers choose and add their own milk, just the way they like it.

So, this is my new favorite restaurant... I have never actually been there, and there is only one location in Arizona and it is on the ASU campus and is only open until 3pm, but still... I endorse this new idea and you should too!

For more info, click here.

Cubicle Life

My day to day existence consists of a cubicle. It lends to the eavesdropping habit that I love to cultivate, but it doesn't allow any privacy. This whole privacy issue is cause for concern... don't others know that....

I CAN HEAR YOU!

No? You don't realize that I can hear every phone conversation, every small and minute personal detail of that phone call with your gynocologist? Do you care that I don't give a crap on how to do payroll... keep your freaking voice down. We live in a world of cubicles, it isn't necessary for you to speak at 8 decibles higher than necessary. Are you partially deaf? If so, that's fine, maybe we can get you some special equipment.

The sad thing here is this post isn't directed at one person in particular... there are multiple obnoxiously loud speaking individuals in our cubicle land! I just don't get it... do you WANT me to know all the sad details in your life? Do you want me to know when your next appointment is, what your test results were, who died and how, or how to order office supplies? Granted the last one isn't personal business... that one is just me ranting at why you have to yell at the top of your lungs to explain to one person WHO IS IN YOUR CUBE WITH YOU how to order office supplies. It's not freaking rocket science...

Dear lord, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...